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America
to Decider: You stink, pal
 By
John Breneman
A disgruntled herd of donkeys stampeded across the nation
yesterday, leaving a trail of trampled elephant carcasses
and delivering a massive dookie-gram to the White House.
George W. Bush could not be reached for comment.
White House spiritual consultant Ted Haggard said he advised
the president to snort some crystal meth, get a massage from
a male prostitute and pray.
Millions of Americans -- sick of hearing about "cut
and run" and "stay the course" and "a
vote for the Democrats is a vote for the terrorists"
-- flipflopped the House of Representatives to start reclaiming
America from the crew that dragged us into the Iraq war on
phony "facts" and then botched it worse than a John
Kerry punchline.
However, a Republican spokesman expressed confidence that
Bush's buddies on the Supreme Court would award the Senate
to the GOP.
And so, following the nastiest campaign season in memory
-- negative ads featured fake mobsters, political porn and
footage of Hitler -- America is ready to demand answers about
the tricks used to lead us into war and the billions of dollars
squandered once we got there.
The pundits predicted disgruntled voters would turn Tuesday's
election into an anti-Bush smackdown, and they did. Mission
accomplished.
Posted on November 8, 2006 1:32 PM
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