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Kerry
tries stand-up, forced to stand down
 By
John Breneman
That wacky
Josh Kerry (D-Massa ... Hey Lady!), he's got a million
of 'em. Yep, this war is a real knee-slapper. You probably
already heard the one about the blowhard politician who tried
to make a joke about the president being a clueless moron
and ended up distracting the voters from what a clueless moron
the president is.
One of Dick
Cheney's joke boys penned a good one for the boss
in response to the Kerry combat-boot-in-mouth incident, telling
the crowd at a campaign stop in Montana that Kerry actually
"was for the joke before he was against it."
Some troops "stuck
in Irak" also displayed a sense of humor. Perhaps
Sen. Kerry should have hired the Humor Gazette to knock out
a couple of Iraq gut-busters.
JOKE #1
Q: How many brave but undermanned, underequipped U.S. troops
does it take to wage an idiot president's unnecessary war
in a country that had no weapons of mass destruction?"
A: Ask Rummy.
JOKE #2
Q: What did the president of the United States say to the
incompetent hand-picked hack who led the administration's
botching of the Hurricane Katrina disaster?
A: "Brownie,
you're doing a heck of a job."
JOKE #3
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Iraq."
"Iraq who?"
"Iraq will greet us as liberators and become a shining
beacon of democracy and ululate the praises of President George
W. Bush from Basra to Fallujah."
JOKE #4
Q: How many no-bid government contractors does it take to
screw in a $600 Halliburton lightbulb in between power outages
in Baghdad?
A: The U.S. General Accounting Office does not know.
 JOKE
#5 (With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)
If terrorists threaten to kill soldiers that you put in harm's
way, and you tell 'em to "Bring it on" ... you may
be a redneck president.
If you're trying to rally the rest of the world to fight
terrorism and you tell 'em "you're either with us or
you're with the terrorists" ... you may be a redneck
president.
If yer idea of a perfect vacation involves clearin'
brush ... you may be a redneck president.
If yer vice
president shoots a man in the face on a huntin' trip
... you may be a redneck president.
* * *
Finally, I found the joke Kerry actually meant to deliver
at LotsOfJokes.com,
(author unkown).
George Bush has started an ill-timed and disastrous war under
false pretenses by lying to the American people and to the
Congress; he has run a budget surplus into a severe deficit;
he has consistently and unconscionably favored the wealthy
and corporations over the rights and needs of the population;
he has destroyed trust and confidence in, and good will toward,
the United States around the globe; he has ignored global
warming, to the world's detriment; he has wantonly broken
our treaty obligations; he has condoned torture of prisoners;
he has attempted to create a theocracy in the United States;
he has appointed incompetent cronies to positions of vital
national importance.
Now, would someone please give him a blow job so we can impeach
him?
Related stories:
Terror
and laughter: Bush's stand-up routine -- Jan. 25,
2006
Comic
bomb: Bush slays 'em with WMD gag -- March 26,
2004
Posted on November 3, 2006 7:33 AM
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