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August 25, 2007
Revisionist History -- Aug. 26
THIS DAY in (REVISIONIST) HISTORY -- Aug. 26
 By
John Breneman
When Iraq War enthusiasts argue that "everybody"
thought Saddam Hussein had WMDs, here's why.
Speaking to the Veterans of Foreign Wars on this day in 2002,
Vice President Dick Cheney told the world -- quote -- "there
is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction."
Cheney, who obtained five military deferments to weasel
out of serving in Vietnam, fired off the word "weapon(s)"
31 times and "terror(ist)" 20 times in his bid to
weasel America into Iraq.
White House untruths were handled differently back in Ben
Bradlee's heyday. The Boston-born Washington Post journalist
fought to expose government deception in Vietnam by publishing
the "Pentagon Papers" in 1971, then helped expose
a corrupt president in the Watergate scandal. He turns 86
today.
On this day in 1498, Michelangelo was commissioned
to carve the Pietà, under a contract guaranteeing
the legendary master a seven-figure advance, an executive
producer credit and 5% of future museum gift-shop sales.
With the big Lions-Gladiators playoff showdown coming up
and no Guinness on hand, Julius Caesar invaded Britain
on this day in 55 B.C.
On this day in 1883, the eruption of Mount Krakatoa
in Indonesia killed thousands while spewing almost as much
toxic junk into the atmosphere as your average presidential
debate.
Charles "Lucky Lindy" Lindbergh's luck ran
out on this day in 1974 when the aviation hero went down with
lymphoma at age 72.
The 19th amendment was certified on this day in 1920,
giving women the right to vote and raising the electoral question:
What does a modern woman wear to the voting booth.
The first baseball game was televised on this day
in 1939 (Reds vs. Dodgers at Brooklyn's Ebbets Field), frightening
many viewers with the ominous warning that "any rebroadcast,
reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of
this game without the express written consent of Major League
Baseball is strictly prohibited."
Today's births
Green-blooded Boston Celtics broadcaster and Hall of Fame
player Tommy Heinsohn turns 71 today. But the team's
failure to win a title since 1987 has not shaken his belief
in leprechauns.
Ex-child star Macaulay Culkin plans to celebrate his
27th today by playing pin the tail on one of Michael Jackson's
donkeys.
Today is the 55th birthday of famed New York Times crossword
editor Will ______ (six letters, starts with S).
 Tom
Ridge, 62, as first head of Homeland Security he regularly
exposed the nation to an "elevated risk" of politically
motivated propaganda, pioneering the practice of using trumped-up
terror press conferences to distract attention from White
House screw-ups.
John Breneman's "This Day in (Revisionist) History"
appears in the Boston Sunday Herald.
Related story: Tom
Ridge's
Homeland Security horoscope
Posted by John Breneman at 9:26 AM | Permalink
August 19, 2007
Revisionist History -- Aug. 19
THIS DAY in (REVISIONIST) HISTORY -- Aug. 19
Massachusetts struck a blow for the Colonies' "War
on Witchcraft'' on this day in 1692, executing five people
found guilty of dabbling in the dark arts.
 Evidence
included eye of newt, a broom and the testimony of
several mischievous young girls. Capital-punishment fans hailed
the hangings and scoffed at concerns that an innocent person
might be put to death for sorcery.
However, a recent review of the case using a modern investigative
technique called "common sense" revealed the so-called
"Salem 5" probably were not guilty of witchcraft.
On this day in 1812, the U.S.S. Constitution roughed
up the British frigate Guerriere off Nova Scotia, earning
the nickname "Old Ironsides." It is now a
popular tourist vessel docked at the Charlestown Navy Yard,
where these days it receives better care than the piece of
paper it was named after.
Afghanistan gained its independence from Great Britian
on this day in 1919, soon realizing its destiny as a poverty-wracked,
opium-producing haven for terrorists.
On this day in 1929, the radio comedy "Amos and Andy"
made its national debut, entertaining millions with racially
offensive stereotypes.
The first Soap Box Derby was held in Ohio on this
day in 1934. The Budweiser car emerged victorious,
hitting the finish line seconds before tiny vehicles plastered
with Viagra and Marlboro logos.
Finally, child monarch Mary Queen of Scots, 18, returned
from a rehab stint in France on this day in 1561. Her
publicist said the 16th century hellcat crashed her
Cabriolet while trying to elude the paparazzi.
On today's birthday blotter:
 Bill
Clinton turns 61. Sources close to the former president's
belly say he plans to celebrate with a big cake and some ice
cream and Twinkies and potato chips and Quarter-Pounders and
doughnuts and Kentucky Fried Chicken and ...
Advisers are urging actor Fred Thompson (star of "Law
& Order: Political Opportunists Unit") to mark his
65th birthday with a vigorous game of pin the tail on the
Romney.
Birthday gal Tipper Gore, 59, has invited friends
over to burn some Marilyn Manson CDs and play the environmentally
correct parlor game, Inconvenient Truth or Dare.
Gone but not forgotten:
Born tiny on this day in 1931, legendary jockey Willie
Shoemaker died in 2003 but revealed in his memoir that
he was always happiest with a half-ton beast between his legs.
Finally, a V-fingered Vulcan salute to "Star Trek"
creator Gene Roddenberry (1921-1991), who in 1997 joined
fellow dead space cadet Timothy Leary on a funeral rocket
to "boldly go where no tube of cremated ashes has gone
before."
John Breneman's "This Day in (Revisionist) History"
appears in the Boston Sunday Herald.
Posted by John Breneman at 8:36 AM | Permalink
August 1, 2007
Dog Fighting League probed
Dog Fighting League faces uncertain future
Even the most savage combatants in the Dog Fighting
League face the constant risk
of injury.
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By John Breneman
The Pittsburgh Pit Bulls mauled the Philadelphia Beagles
14-3 last night in a vicious DFL showdown that has drawn the
attention of animal-rights watchdogs, FBI bloodhounds and
rabid fans.
In other Dog Fighting League action: The Cleveland Curs dominated
the Baltimore Bitches, the Oakland Rottweilers abused the
underdog New Orleans Saint Bernards and the heavily favored
Chicago Bullmastiffs were savaged by the Kansas City Chihuahuas.
The indictment of the league's poster boy, NFL superstar
Michael Vick, has shined a harsh spotlight on the underground
world of extreme canine brutality. But DFL analysts suggest
investigators instead probe an organization that grooms chemically
enhanced human beings to engage in violent combat for entertainment
purposes -- the National Football League.
In tonight's DFL matchups: The Miami Mongrels attack the
Jacksonville Jugulars, the Green Bay Puggers take on the Fighting
Irish Setters of Notre Dame and the Miami Mongrels are crated
up and shipped to Motown where they hope to disembowel the
Detroit Dachshunds, despite a hamstring injury to league MVP
(Most Valuable Pooch) Killer #247.
At stake is the saliva-covered league championship trophy
and a lavish prize package that includes a 10-pound sack of
Alpo and one full week without being beaten, shot or electrocuted.
Related story:
Ex-Chihuahua
sues Paris Hilton -- Sept. 6, 2006
Corgis
dream of Iditarod glory -- Aug. 15, 2004
Posted by John Breneman at 9:27 AM | Permalink
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