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October 28, 2008
Swift potato: McCain linked to Potato-Industrial Complex
Swift
potato: McCain linked
to Potato-Industrial Complex
 By
John Breneman
New evidence has emerged linking Republican presidential
nominee John McCain with Canadian-based McCain Foods, the
world's leading producer of French fries.
 A
group calling itself McCain Lovers For Obama has released
an anti-McCain attack ad charging that Sen. McCain is "in
the pocket of Big Potato," having taken billions from
"the Potato-Industrial Complex."
The ad features two iconic blue-collar voters, Joe Lunch-Bucket
and Tommy Twelve-Pack, discussing their love for McCain while
savoring a plate of McCain crinkle cut French fries.
The ad then blatantly attempts to "Swift Potato"
Sen. McCain with unsubstantiated "Tater-Gate" allegations.
Related story:
McCain
linked to error kingpin Abu Dubya
Posted by John Breneman at 11:42 AM | Permalink
October 20, 2008
Erection '08: Bob Dole running for president
Erection
'08: Bob Dole running for president
 Saying
America needs a spunky, virile leader to get its flaccid economy
back on top, 1996 Republican presidential nominee Bob Dole
announced today he is taking another crack at the White House.
“The economy’s shootin’
blanks,” said Bob Dole. “America needs a stiff dose
of Bob Dole.”
Pledging to “stick
it to the special interests,” Dole said he is counting
on support from “schwing voters” who may be suffering
from “electoral dysfunction.”
Watch
Bob Dole lay out his platform for what he is calling “the
biggest erection of our time.”
Related story:
Doctors:
Bush suffers from Iraq-tile dysfunction
Posted by John Breneman at 12:32 PM | Permalink
October 6, 2008
McCain linked to error kingpin Abu Dubya
McCain
linked to error kingpin Abu Dubya
 By
John Breneman
John McCain for the last eight years has been "palling
around" with a man who nearly destroyed the United States
of America during his deadly reign of error, the mainstream
media has learned.
Emerging evidence links the Republican nominee with notorious
right-wing error kingpin Abu Dubya, whose international and
domestic malfeasance has harmed millions and cost taxpayers
trillions.
Pundits say McCain's close ties to Dubya, described as a
high-ranking member of the Bush-Cheney Underground, could
hurt him in his quest for the White House. Behind in the polls
and reeling from the nation's economic meltdown, McCain has
tried to distance himself from Dubya but has never repudiated
him.
Now McCain strategists have alerted the media they're suspending
discussion of the country's severe economic woes to focus
their full attention on smearing Sen. Obama.
Rather than think up some way to help millions of Amercians
gripped by economic distress, McCain dispatched co-maverick
VP pitbull Sarah Palin to stink up the campaign trail with
claims that Sen. Barack Obama "pals around with terrorists."
In addition to wielding Weather Underground radical William
Ayers as a weapon against Obama (who has denounced Ayers'
actions as "detestable"), the McCain camp is said
to possess footage of Obama's former pastor saying, "God
damn America."
Several days before gearing up the Swift Boat Express for
a fresh assault on Main Street, Gov. Palin, insisted at the
Oct. 2 vice presidential debate that Sen. McCain's past connections
to Abu Dubya should be off-limits.
"Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again. … Now
doggone it, let's look ahead," urged Palin, who said
she wants "a little bit of reality from Wasilla Main
Street there, brought to Washington, D.C."
 Sources
say Palin plans to introduce a series of homespun new policies
such as the Church-State United Act and No Joe Sixpack Left
Behind.
However, the Obama camp says McCain's relationship with the
enigmatic Dubya is not only relevant but "dangerous."
McCain aggressively campaigned to block Dubya's rise to power
in early 2000, but abruptly flip-flopped that May and was
soon photographed hugging the powerful error syndicate leader.
Critics say McCain helped advance the virulent Abu Dubya
economic ideology that brought the American financial sector
to its knees.
Abu Dubya also claims responsibility for:
-- spiking the pre-9/11 intelligence briefing "Bin Laden
determined to attack in U.S."
-- worsening the impact of a hurricane that wiped out a major
American city.
-- invading Iraq without provocation.
-- stealing billions from taxpayers and giving it to cronies.
Gov. Palin's bid to distract attention from the McCain-Dubya
connection includes a probe into whether she fired Alaska's
public safety commissioner because he refused to dismiss a
state trooper who was Palin's ex-brother-in-law.
Palin said that if she is "so blessed" to be elected,
she hopes to expand the power of the vice presidency to fire
U.S. attorneys, "activist judges" and maybe a couple
member of Congress.
Palin also assured the American people that, once elected,
she "wouldn't blink" on matters of "wiretappin',
toleratin' gays and getting' rid of that pesky women's right
to choose."
Related stories:
 Negative
ad links McCain, Hussein
Palin
comparison: She's no Dan Quayle
McCain
wounded in Letterman attack
McCain
flip-flops on debate 'bailout'
Palin: How many igloos does she own?
Posted by John Breneman at 9:47 AM | Permalink
October 3, 2008
Palin comparison: She's no Dan Quayle
Palin
comparison: She's no Dan Quayle
 By
John Breneman
Gov. Sarah Palin delivered a debate-night wakeup call to
all those elite, East Coast liberal, pro-Obama, anti-Main
Street, mainstream media jackals who say a Joe Six Pack hockey
mom can't be president.
She's the spunky, lunch-bucket, maverick, moose-carvin',
Putin-huntin', pitbull America never knew it was waiting for.
Palin erased all doubt about her ability to awkwardly infuse
McCain-Bush talking points with a brisk Alaska breeze. Cleverly
adopting the disarming verbal strategy of an eager student
trying to stretch two pages of material into a 10-page report,
she peppered her homespun spin with W-esque presidential folksiness.
Even when bombarded with "gotcha" questions by
moderator Gwen Ifill, a card-carrying lefty according to the
right, Palin effortlessly summoned seemingly random strings
of words to underscore her refreshing lack of knowledge and
experience.
She frequently projected a nervous energy that is perfectly
normal for someone inexplicably thrust onto the presidential
stage by a candidate whose judgment tells him -- during this
near perfect storm of national crises -- to name the Wasilla
Wonder his, God forbid, possible successor as leader of the
free world.
"How long have I been at this, like five weeks?"
she said, reassuring the American public that she understands
the economic crisis is "a toxic mess, really, on Main
Street that's affecting Wall Street."
She also scolded her opponent, Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware,
for suggesting that the destructive policies of the yet-to-expire
Bush administration, along with John McCain's pledge to continue
most of them, were somehow relevant to the election.
"Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards
again. You preferenced your whole comment with the Bush administration.
Now doggone it, let's look ahead," said Palin.
"Americans are craving that straight talk," she
said, conjuring up such incisive rhetoric as, "we'll
do what we have to do to administer very appropriately the
plans that are needed for this nation."
And this curvy straight talk on global warming: "I'm
not one to attribute every man -- activity of man to the changes
in the climate. There is something to be said also for man's
activities, but also for the cyclical temperature changes
on our planet." That's sure to resonate with the "puzzled"
demographic.
Palin achieved her goal of saying the word "maverick"
at least six times. But Biden countered with nine reverse
kitchen-table "mavericks."
However, as expected, Biden's performance included several
of his signature gaffes.
Number one: He kept saying, "That's number one. Number
two…"
Number two: He dared make the unpatriotic suggestion that
"the last eight years, we've been dug into a very deep
hole here at home with regard to our economy, and abroad in
terms of our credibility. And there's a need for fundamental
change in our economic philosophy, as well as our foreign
policy."
Biden also said something about McCain having debated Harry
Truman. However, he did call upon Churchillian reservoirs
of diplomacy to resist telling his opponent she was full of
Bullwinkle.
Though super slo-mo revealed that Palin blinked on at least several occasions, she did reassure millions of gay Americans that she is “tolerant” of them and said that, despite her opposition to Roe v. Wade, she’ll be a champion of “women’s rights.” She also reminded the millions of Americans praying for a near-term end to the Iraq war that they’re pledging allegiance to the “white flag of surrender.”
 After
the debate, CNN dispelled fears of an anti-Palin media by
deploying a team of pundits to lavish praise upon the smart, but blatantly underqualified possible future president.
Related stories:
McCain
flip-flops on presidential debate 'bailout'
McCain
wounded in Letterman attack
Sarah
Palin: How many igloos does she own?
Posted by John Breneman at 8:57 AM | Permalink
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