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Health-care reform rhetoric
hazardous to your health?
By
John Breneman
As the debate over health-care reform becomes more feverish,
polls show a majority of Americans are getting a migraine from
listening to politicians who are more concerned with the well-being
of greedy health-care corporations the health of the American
people.
"13 O'Clock News" chief medical correspondent,
Dr. Bill Payne, reports that other side effects of prolonged
exposure to health-care rhetoric may include:
(YouTube
VIDEO of this report)
Tourette's syndrome, exploding jugular vein, electile dysfunction,
restless middle-finger syndrome, paranoid trillionosis and
post-traumatic soiled-pants syndrome.
Ruptured spleen, projectile vomitosis, degenerative pharmaceutical-industrial
complex, enlarged premium syndrome, recurrent claim denial
and early-afternoon alcoholism.
Also:
Curvature of the liver, gastrointestinal wretching, mental
calcification, metaphysical disorientation, ideological leprosy,
cerebral hemorrhoids and cognitive primordial dwarfism.
Clinical depression, douple-dip recession, triple dementia,
testicular hallucinations, intellectual bulimia, lyme disease,
BlackBerry dereangment syndrome and chronic diaper tension.
 Other
side effects:
Cold sweats, hot flashes, inflammation of the wallet, varicose
brain, greased palm, clubfoot, hammer toe, housemaid's knee,
rainbow gout, rickets, rabies and shingles.
Heartworms, facial ticks, intestinal locusts, cardiovascular
fleas, pancreatic scorpions, black lung, chopped liver, chronic
bubonic plague, soul weevils and unmitigated gallstones.
Other risks may include:
Whooping cough, congressional meningitis, moral obesity, SpongeBob
SquarePants disorder, Irritable Pundit Syndrome, male-pattern
hypocrisy and spastic Rush Lymphoma grandiosis.
Philosophic thrombosis, ethical psoriasis, fudge sickle-cell
anemia, hepatitis ABCDEF&G, temporary insanity, malignant
media brainwashing and esophageal bloviation.
Finally:
The surgeon general has warned that additional side effects
of prolonged exposure to health-care rhetoric may include:
 Delusions
of bipartisanism, idiopathic rhetorical sclerosis, misdiagnosed
socialism, bleeding heart, severe right-brain elephantiasis
and degenerative political malfeasance.
In other medical news:
Study:
Myrrh may be hazardous to your health
-- Dec. 12, 2006
Brain
usage: 10% and dropping
Everything
may be hazardous to your health
Posted on October 8, 2009 8:20 AM
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