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 MANGER
DANGER!
War on Christmas causes self-inflicted wounds
(WIKILEAKS) URGENT DISPATCH:
FRONT LINES / WAR ON CHRISTMAS
Am under heavy fire from Intercontinental Ballistic
Mistletoe. STOP
Fear the enemy has obtained Weapons of Midnight Mass
Destruction. STOP
* * *
Ah, the War on Christmas rages once more. 'Tis the season.
Flairs up around this time each winter -- a right-wing
holiday tradition that seems to bring more unintentional
cheer with each passing year.
I know it sounds naughty, but Fox News knows there's money
to be made pitting gullible God-fearing Christians against
the hell-bound "Happy Holidays" crowd - exposing
the persecution of gingerbread men and the deforestation
of America's Christmas trees.
Gretchen Carlson of "Fox and Friends" got the
memo from the Man Upstairs (no, not Him -- Ailes). She trumpeted
this "crazy" (and sadly, false) story about a
Florida school banning red and green, and rolled some silly
tape. Soon after, Stephen Colbert lit her up like a holiday
tree -- his
mocking well-hung by the chimney with care. (Blitzkreig
on Grinchitude)
 The
Gretch also grilled some Tulsa antichrist for sodomizing
Christmas down in Oklahoma. In this "Daily
Show" clip, her prosecutorial zeal is comically
surreal -- she's on this guy like green on pine.
Christmas is supposed to be all Christian and non-materialistic
-- a message Fox News Radio stooge John Gibson embraced
by cashing in with a "War on Christmas" book.
(The subtitle -- "How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred
Christian Holiday is Worse Than You Thought" - suggests
the man is not hauling a full sack of presents.)
But this year's Sergeant Shultz and Colonel Klink in the
War on Christmas have to be GOP Sens. Jon Kyl and Jim DeMint.
Kyl accused Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of "disrespecting
one of the two holiest of holidays for Christians."
DeMint chimed in with more phony piety -- calling Democratic
efforts to do the people's business in the two weeks around
Christmas "sacrilegious."
 The
two were slapped around by many, including Brig. Gen. John
Adams, who pointed out: "We have one-hundred-and-fifty-thousand
U.S. warriors doing their job over Christmas and the New
Year, the U.S. Senate should do its job." "Morning
Joe" Scarborough nailed 'em too -- calling their criticisms
of the Senate leader "un-Christlike."
Jiminy Christmas -- how stupid do these disingenuous GOP-holes
think the American people are? I suppose their excuse is
they're just playing to their constituents in the Jingle
Belt. Poor saps. All they were doing was angling for a new
way to screw Obama -- surely they didn't mean to deploy
Jesus as a political weapon.
Must be vigilant for crude, homemade tannen-bombs. STOP
* * *
Santa wounded in War on Christmas
Brett Favre paralyzed, comatose -- ready to play!
Posted on December 17, 2010 2:29 AM
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