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March 31, 2011
Godzilla declares Libyan jets 'too salty'
See more GODZILLA SIGHTINGS here
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@GodzillaAlert on Twitter
Posted by John Breneman at 2:42 AM | Permalink
Godzilla spotted at N.H. nuclear plant
See more GODZILLA SIGHTINGS here
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@GodzillaAlert on Twitter
Posted by John Breneman at 2:35 AM | Permalink
March 24, 2011
Godzilla offers soothing haiku
See more GODZILLA SIGHTINGS here
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@GodzillaAlert on Twitter
Posted by John Breneman at 9:03 AM | Permalink
March 18, 2011
Speed Racer busted for speeding
Posted by John Breneman at 9:39 AM | Permalink
Libyan protesters demand ouster of Gadhafi, Khadafi, Qadhafi and Khaddaffi
 Libyan protesters demand ouster of Gadhafi, Khadafi, Qadhafi and Khaddaffi
Libyan crazy man Moammar Gadhafi is reportedly
"going ballistic" as protesters call for an end
to his four-decade reign.
Col. Qaddafi, whose name is routinely spelled
Gaddafi, Kadhafi, Qadhaffi, Khaddafi and countless other
variations in media reports, is not only a ruthless despot
-- he's also a raving schizophrenic, with at least one outlandish
personality for each spelling of his name.
Sources describe him as "a real dictator's
dictator" with a fondness for mustard gas, donkey prostitutes
and human oppression. A defiant Khaduffy has vowed to remain
in power -- pledging to govern his people to death if necessary.
His vow to battle protesters to the "last drop of blood"
(theirs, not his obviously) sent the price of blood spiking
to over $100 a barrel. (MORE)
Posted by John Breneman at 9:30 AM | Permalink
Incredible Hulk implicated in steroid probe
Posted by John Breneman at 9:29 AM | Permalink
50 Cent introduces 50 Scent
 50
Cent introduces 50 Scent
Imagine the dangerous aroma of a freshly fired
9 milimeter semiautomatic handgun.
Blend in the rich, bling-tastic bouquet of
a burlap sack stuffed with $100 bills.
Now add an audaciously naughty whiff of skanky
ghetto gold-digger.
Introducing 50 Scent -- a gangsta-licious
new fragrance created by platinum-toothed rap mogul 50 Cent.
(See poster version)
Just dab some on your neck, behind your ear
and all up in your junk to drive the ladies wild.
Or slather some upside those unsightly drive-by
scars to make old wounds sizzle with brutish sensuality.
50 Scent: Manufacturer's suggested retail
price: 50 Dollar
Posted by John Breneman at 9:25 AM | Permalink
Brat, 3, destroys Watson supercomputer at Candy Land
 Stupid
brat, 3, destroys
Watson supercomputer
at Candy Land
The Watson supercomputer that dominated its human competition
on the quiz show "Jeopardy" has been humiliated
by dimwitted 3-year-old Massachusetts boy.
Locked in an epic game of Candy Land, little Jimmy Murphy
was losing badly to the IBM supercomputer when he employed
a uniquely human strategy -- a temper tantrum -- to vanquish
his soulless rival. (MORE)
Posted by John Breneman at 9:01 AM | Permalink
March 16, 2011
Dear Sarah: Palin advice column
 Dear
Sarah: Palin advice column
Dear Sarah,
I about back to field-dress a 1,200-pound moose I just dropped
with my Remington 700 CDL when I realized that the pulsating
internal organs and moose viscera were making me a little
squeamish. What should I do?
-- Eek from Juneau
CLICK
for Sarah's response
ALSO:
Mitt Romney denies robot allegations
Posted by John Breneman at 9:44 AM | Permalink
March 14, 2011
Michele Bachmann's Guide to the American Revolution
Posted by John Breneman at 12:15 PM | Permalink
March 10, 2011
Romney denies robot allegations
 Romney
denies robot allegation
 Republican
presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is denying allegations
that he is a robotic humanoid with Teflon hair made in China
by the Koch brothers.
Unlike traditional human politicians, the
Romney is wired to calibrate its positions based solely
on political expediency -- suffering no moral compunction
about switching from a pro-choice stance to gain election
as governor of Massachusetts to fervently pro-life as the
front-running Republican cyborg in the 2012 presidential
race.
The strapping, kevlar politician -- whose
"face" is said to be molded from a top-secret,
space-age polymer -- has been dogged by allegations that
he is a plastic opportunist ever since a 2007 Concord Monitor
editorial branded him a raging, hypocritical "phony."
But experts say it'll take more than a little
Romneycare scandal to derail the Mitt, which has carved
out a front-runner spot in the 2012 race by disguising itself
as a pandering corporate confidence man.
 #
# #
Romney
should not be the next president (Concord
Monitor, Dec. 22, 2007)
Mitt
has a dream (Humor Gazette, Dec.
30, 2007)
# # #
Study
shows alcohol effective in combating sobriety
Libyan
protesters demand resignation of Gadhafi, Khadafi, Qadhafi
and Khaddaffi
Posted by John Breneman at 12:07 AM | Permalink
March 9, 2011
Speed Racer busted for speeding
 This
just in!
Speed Racer busted for speeding,
possession of speed,
speeding with intent to distribute speed
Posted by John Breneman at 12:49 AM | Permalink
March 7, 2011
Charlie Sheen, VIRGO
 Charlie
Sheen's Horoscope
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) A gnarly workplace
dispute may cause unforeseen complications involving television
cameras and child welfare authorities. Resist the temptation
to bang a seven-gram rock at dusk. Bring it.
A loved one may resent threats of being stabbed
in the eye with a penknife. Don't let societal restraining
orders inhibit your warlock powers. Tiger blood is thicker
than water.
Goddesses are attracted to your virile, ruggedly
handsome bank account. Spend less time pretending you're
not a totally bitchin' rock star from Mars. Celebrate your
inner crack ninja. (MORE)
Posted by John Breneman at 4:27 PM | Permalink
March 3, 2011
Sheen goddesses dish on 'Menage a Two and a Half'
RELATED
STORY: OSCAR BUZZ FOR SHEEN FILM PROJECT
-- 'THE GODFATHER: PART TWO AND A HALF'
Posted by John Breneman at 8:59 AM | Permalink
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