February 2
On this day in 1832, Congress officially created Groundhog
Day after thousands of the nation's woodchucks converged on
Washington in the "Million Rodent March."
On this day in 1848, the war between America and Mexico ended
with a treaty that ceded all existing Taco Bell franchises
to the U.S.
Today's Birthdays:
James Joyce (1882-1941): Irish poet and novelist, best known
for "Finnegan's Wake and Bake" and "Portrait
of the Artist Formerly Known as Prince as a Young Man."
Farrah Fawcett, 57: actress, starred in the popular 1970s
show "Charlie's Sex Objects."
February 3
On this day in 1913, federal
income tax was authorized with the passage of constitutional
Amendment 1040-EZ.
On this day in 1930, William Howard Taft resigned as chief
justice of the Supreme Court, saying he wanted to "spend
more time with my barbecue grill."
Today's Birthdays:
Norman Rockwell (1894-1978): famed "Saturday Evening
Post" artist, beat out Monet and Michelangelo for best
painting ever of a boy getting a haircut while being licked
by puppies.
Dave Davies, 57: musician with The Kinks, hits include "You
Really Got Mini-Me" and "Catch Me Now I'm Falling
and I Can't Get Up."
Morgan Fairchild, 54: actress, starred in the night-time
soap opera "Dallas" and its X-rated spinoff "Phallus."
February 4
On this day in 1969, Yasser
Arafat became head of the Palestinian Liberation Organization
after declining a lucrative offer to serve as CEO of Funny
Hats R Us.
On this day in 1789, George Washington became the nation's
first president after earning four A's and one B from the
electoral college.
On this day in 1974, newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst and
several rare felines were kidnapped by the Siamese Cat Liberation
Army
Today's Birthdays:
Charles Lindbergh (1902-1974): legendary aviator, in 1927
became first pilot to fly solo over the Atlantic and boy were
his arms tired.
Betty Friedan, 83: author and founder of NOW (National Orgasm
for Women).
Dan Quayle, 57: former dunce vice president, finished 12th
in the Western Indiana Class 4 debating championship (Lightweight
Division) in 1968.
Alice Cooper, 56: rock singer, hit the charts with "I
Like to Kill Babies and Eat Them With Caramel Sauce."
February 5
On this day in 1631, Rhode
Island founder Roger Williams landed in Boston where he was
met by a gold-blazered real estate agent from Century 17.
On this day in 1983, former Nazi Getapo official Klaus Barbie
was brought to France to stand trial for suspected war crimes
at Barbie's Malibu Dream House.
On this day in 1988, wrestler Andre the Giant beat Hulk Hogan
after lifting him up by the nostrils, ripping off his face
and punching his spleen.
Today's Birthdays:
Adlai Stevenson (1900-65): presidential candidatein 1952
and '56, wanted it badly but sadly voters weren't madly for
Adlai.
Hammerin' Hank Aaron, 70: first baseball player to be named
after a carpenter's tool.
Jennifer Jason Leigh, 42: actress, starred as an anemic psycho
in "Single White Blood Cell."
February 6
On this day in 1788, Massachusetts
ratified the U.S. Constitution after first confirming that
it was not crafted by witches.
On this day in 1971, astronaut Alan Shepard temporarily disabled
his lunar module by shanking a golf ball into its control
panel.
Today's Birthdays:
Aaron Burr (1756-1836): former vice president best known
for busting a fatal cap in Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton's
ass.
Babe Ruth (1895-1948): legendary baseball slugger, first
man to hit 60 home runs and drink 60 kegs of beer in a single
season.
Ronald Reagan, 93: former president-actor, starred in "The
Road to Nicaragua" and "Bedtime for Contras."
Zsa Zsa Gabor, 85: alleged celebrity bitch slapper.
Natalie Cole, 54: singer, daughter of the legendary Nat "King"
Cole and great granddaughter of Old King Cole, who hit #1
in 1899 with "Merry Old Soul."
February 7
On this day in 1948, Gen.
Dwight D. Eisenhower resigned as Army chief of staff in order
to "spend more quality time" with his presidential
campaign advisers and yes-men.
On this day in 1943, the government imposed shoe rationing,
limiting each person to one pair of Chuck Taylor high-top
sneakers and one pair of spiked heels.
Today's Birthdays:
Charles Dickens (1812-1870): author, best known for his novel
about boozing in London and Paris, "Cocktail of Two Cities."
Eubie Blake (1883-1983): pianist-composer, best known for
"I'm Just Wild About Hairy Chicks."
Chris Rock, 38: comedian, won Emmy for his TV special "Bring
the Painkillers"
Ashton Kutcher, 26: actor, plays a dim-witted young John
Quincy Adams in "That 1770s Show."
February 8
On this day in 1910, the
Boy Scouts of America was incorporated with the motto: "We
don't need no stinking merit badges."
On this day in 1969, the final issue of the "Saturday
Evening Post" prompted a new magazine devoted to analyzing
its demise, the "Sunday Evening Post-Mortem."
On this day in 1587, Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded in
England during a sold-out performance of "Guillotine
Fever."
Today's Birthdays:
Jules Verne (1828-1905): author of the SciFi self-help classics
"Astound the World in 80 Days" and "Journey
to the Center of Your Inner Child."
James Dean (1931-1955): actor, starred in "Rebel Without
a Positive Role Model."
Gary Coleman, 36: actor, played young Malcolm X in the sitcom
"Militant Strokes."
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