Saddam on hunger strike, gives up Doritos

By
John Breneman

Saddam Hussein has begun another hunger strike, according
to a source who said the cranky tyrant barely touched his
wine-poached Tuscan salmon last night, then turned up his
nose at his tiramisu cheesecake dessert.

Hussein is also refusing his vegetables, even when his jailers
try the U.N.-approved "choo-choo train" method of
getting him to eat. The judge presiding over his trial stated
that holding Hussein in contempt of court wasn’t working,
so he ordered him to be confined in a holding cell for an
extended "timeout."

With his latest tantrum, Hussein reportedly hopes to strike
a blow for deposed genocidal maniacs everywhere. According
to one of his attorneys, "The elite, pro-human rights
media never prints the GOOD news about ruthless totalitarian
dictators."

Related stories:
Saddam
tells judge to ‘go (bleep) yourself’ – Jan.
30, 2006

‘Madman’
Hussein pleads insanity – Nov. 28, 2005

Photos
prove Saddam possessed BVDs – May 23, 2005