Bush fails second doping test
By
John Breneman
Now that a second test has confirmed that his blood contained
high levels of artificial testosterone, President Bush faces
the possibility he could be stripped of his cherished "World’s
Greatest President" belt buckle.
Today’s disclosure by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency also raises
new questions about his controversial 2004 victory over rival
bicycling pantload John Kerry.
Bush has long denied the use of performance-enhancing drugs,
saying he quit back in 1986 when he gave up the booze and
blow. But experts believe there is widespread cheating at
the highest levels of geopolitical competition.
For example, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is said
to be hooked on a cocktail of steroids, opium-laced hashish
and camel growth hormone; Kim Jong Il on Viagra and Courvoisier.
Hezbollah boss Hassan Nasrallah has a wicked crystal meth
habit and Saddam Hussein was a mustard gas freak.
Sources say Bush is fixing to challenge Ahmadinejad and Nasrallah
to a no-holds-barred, Texas-style mountain bike race.
Related stories:
Bonds
rages against steroid allegations — March 8, 2006
Incredible
Hulk implicated in steroid probe — March 18, 2005
Canseco
claims he did steroids with Bush — Feb. 14, 2005
Santa
Claus denies use of steroids — Dec. 25, 2004