Homeland Security cracks down on snakes
By
John Breneman
Due to heightened Internet and media chatter about a plot
involving some "(mother-fangin’) snakes on a (mother-fangin’)
plane," the Department of Homeland Security today raised
the Reptile Terror Alert Level to red.
Fortunately, Oscar-nominated badass Samuel
L. Jackson reportedly has the mother-fangin’ situation
under control and is getting medieval on the mother-fangin’
serpents in theaters
across the nation.
The FBI is probing possible links to the Monty Python humor
cell and the rumored presence of a uraniumhead yellow snake
from Niger.
Federal officials slithered into action, mandating that all
male passengers be vigorously frisked to determine if they
are concealing anything that resembles a small or medium-size
snake.
Secretary of State Condoleezza
Rice was shocked, saying, "I don’t think anyone
could have predicted those people would use (mother-fangin’)
snakes on a (mother-fangin’) plane as a weapon."
Several leading Republicans accused the Democrats of being
weak in the war on snakism and the media has made sure no
American goes more than 11 minutes without hearing the words
"snakes on a plane."
Related story:
Acorn
plot linked to squirrel terorists — Oct. 7, 2005