Hannity’s
new Colmes: Frankie Goldchains
Fox News has announced that Alan Colmes will soon leave his
post as liberal co-host of "Hannity & Colmes."
As Fox decides whether to simply rename the show "Hannity
and More Hannity," one contender to replace Colmes is
tough-guy media pundit Frankie Goldchains, a former mob hit
man, rat and underworld consultant.
"HANNITY & COLMES" SCREEN TEST:
FRANKIE GOLDCHAINS
Sean, you ignorant schmuck! This here is Frankie Goldchains!!
Yeah, too bad about your boy Colmes. I heard he busted up
your little "Hannity & Colmes" sorority party.
So I’m taking Colmes’ old job, see.
I got you figured out, Hannity. Right-wing pretty boy. …
You talk a big game, but I bet you got a glass jaw.
Day after Colmes leaves, I’m in your face like a frickin’
left-wing cage fighter. Bada-BOOM! Bada-BING! And don’t expect
me to be some limp, lefty punching bag like old Colmesy there.
You smug millionaire gasbag. I’ll smack that frickin’ grin
off your makeup-caked piehole.
Fair and balanced, yeah right. You unbalanced fairy.
I’m gonna come down there … debate the crap outta you.
No more "Hannity & Colmes." From now on its
"Hannity & Goldchains," see. Wait, I got a new
name for you, Pinhead — "Goldchains & Hannity"
!!!