Miss Piggy spreads swine flu on ‘Sesame Street’

(Today’s
episode of Triple-Action News
brought to you by the letters H1N1)

Filming of a popular PBS children’s program ground to a halt
today, as dozens of cast members reportedly caught swine flu
when longtime colleague Miss Piggy blew out the candles on
a birthday cake marking the show’s 40th anniversary.

The Sesame Street Journal is reporting that Miss Piggy —
the lovelorn, porcine prima donna — is under quarantine as
a carrier of the deadly H1N1 virus. Kermit the Frog is said
to be praying his longtime friend doesn’t "croak."

Meanwhile,
U.S. Rep. Roosevelt Franklin has sponsored legislation mandating
that the H1N1 vaccine be made more widely available to the muppet
community. But he admitted that, for now, his swine flu initiative
is "just a bill, sitting here on Capitol Hill."

The Sesame Street Journal is also reporting that PBS
superstar Big Bird has been identified as a possible carrier
of the deadly and horrifying avian flu.

In a related story: Triple-Action News anchorman Reid
Page needles the media’s coverage of the swine flu "oink-idemic,"
with expert insight from porcine pundit Dr. Napoleon Hamm.