Study shows Fox News causes
cerebral hemorrhoids

Regular
exposure to Fox News may cause intellectual anemia, brain
damage and even cerebral hemorrhoids, according to a new study by University of Maryland.

The study confirmed what many have long suspected, that
Fox
News rots your brain with agenda-driven propaganda
and ultimately leads to a cruel form of dementia called
Rupert Murdoch Syndrome.

Lawyers for longtime viewers filed a $1.2 billion class-action
suit today, alleging that Fox News crippled their ability
to distinguish between fact and right-wing fiction.

A spokesman
responded that Fox News’ logo is "fair and
balanced."

In deposed testimony obtained from FoxyLeaks, one litigant
says: "I’ve been watching Fox News for years. Now I
find out the president DIDN’T attend a terrorist kindergarten
in Indonesia and he ISN’T going to jail people for violating
Obamacare. What next: No death panels?"

Some are now calling for a warning label in the lower left
corner of particularly misleading Fox News broadcasts. Possible
sample text: "The Surgeon General has determined that
Glenn Beck’s program contains harmful, toxic levels of misinformation,
propaganda, arsenic, rat feces and tar."

Other
side effects of prolonged exposure to Fox News may
include degenerative ideological sclerosis, electile
dysfunction and restless middle-finger syndrome.

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