President: ‘Iraq hard … Stay the intercourse’

By John Breneman

Erecting a democracy in Iraq is "hard work," President
Bush reminded us again Tuesday. When spreading the seed of
freedom, America must not "lose its nerve" and pull
out too soon. Stay the intercourse.

"Failure in Iraq," the president twanged, "id’n
gonna happen."

The president also claimed a significant victory in his ongoing
battle with the media, making it through an entire news conference
without wounding himself with friendly fire. He jousted with
reporters, dodged what he called a "trick question"
and gave a fresh vote of confidence to Defense Secretary Donald
"Heckuva Job, Rummy" Rumsfeld. (Anyone smell a medal?)

The president wisely stuck to his familiar strategy of never
answering a question directly. For example, when asked whether
he is concerned that "a growing number of Americans are
questioning the trustworthiness of you and this White House,"
the president said, "I believe that my job is to go out
and explain to people what’s on my mind. That’s why I’m having
this press conference, see."

He continued, "I’m telling you what’s on my mind. And
what’s on my mind is winning the war on terror." Unfortunately
he also admitted that complete U.S. withdrawal from Iraq will
be handled not by him, but rather "future presidents"
with input from "future governments of Iraq."

Three years after launching his brilliant Iraq plan, the
president once again sought to reassure Americans with comments
like "I understand people’s lives are being lost"
and "What we’re doin’ is difficult work."

The president also busted out, four times, his very favorite
soundbite — the one about not "losing our nerve"
— in these out-of-context snippets from Tuesday’s speech:

"The enemy has said that it’s just a matter of time
before the United States loses its nerve and
withdraws from Iraq."

Later, "I think that if we were to lose our nerve
and leave prematurely, those (Iraqi) reformers would be let
down."

Later still, "Well, if the United States were to lose
its nerve, it would certainly make the job of reformers
more difficult."

And finally, "If (the bad guys) see us lose our
nerve, it’s likely to undermine their boldness and
their desire." Huh? Anyway, if you suspect you are beginning to lose your nerve, please
consult the nearest reputable nerve agent.

Also
in the news: Charges have been dropped against Debra LaFave,
the hot blond Florida teacher who had sex with a 14-year-old
student. At a press conference Tuesday she whacked the media
for blowing the story "out of proportion" then announced
she wants to become a journalist. Her first story — embedded
coverage with a local Cub Scout troop.

Related story:
Mispronouncing
a lie doesn’t make it true — Aug. 16, 2004

* Bush forked tongue image by www.forkedtongue.org