Bush suffers from
Iraq-tile Dysfunction

By
John Breneman

President Bush may suffer from a rare medical condition called
Iraq-tile Dysfunction. This according to an anonymous whistle-blower
close to the president’s unit.

Symptoms are said to include limp oratory, feeble rhetoric
and droopy poll numbers.

"Lame-duck presidents are particularly vulnerable to
feelings of impotence," said former Republican presidential
nominee Bob Dole. "Some days you’re trying like heck to nail an insurgency
but you feel like you’re just shooting blanks."

One expert in presidential sexual disorders says that with
proper medication, President Bush should be able to regain
his spunky, confident smirk* in no time. "A fistful of
Viagra, a couple Levitra and ole W’ll be riding Osama bin
Laden like a rodeo cowboy," said William J. Clinton,
noted former U.S. commander-in-beef.

According
to the latest poll, President Bush’s flaccid approval rating
could grow depending on the outcome of the recent Iraqi erection.

* Seek immediate medical care if smirk lasts longer than
four years.

Related stories:
Preparation
W: For fast, temporary relief from a pain-in-the-ass president

Rummy
does Cialis — May 25, 2004