Al-Zarqawi’s
approval rating falls

By
John Breneman

Faced with plummeting poll numbers, al-Qaeda douchebag Abu
Musab al-Zarqawi is thinking of quitting terrorism to become
a used car dealer.

A new study reveals that now that he is bombing his own people
nearly everyone has turned against al-Zarqawi, including his
own family. Al-Zarqawi’s approval rating has sunk to 3 percent
and there are unconfirmed reports that the bigshot terror
honcho may actually be a sniveling little sissy.

The U.S. has placed a $25 million bounty on al-Zarqawi’s
ass and is offering a $500 reward to anyone who punches him
in the face.

"He was always a jerk," said younger brother Abu
"Bob" al-Zarqawi. "When we were kids he used
to he used to put a bag over my head and threaten to chop
my arms off. He even beheaded our gerbil, Lil Pete."

U.S. intelligence sources say al-Zarqawi, known for his hideous
garlic breath, yellow teeth and uncontrollable dandruff, is
also a Level 3 sex offender with a fondness for young donkeys.

Related stories:
Al
Qaeda’s #2 man is cowardly piece of dung — Aug.
5, 2005

Suicide
bombers get cold feet, call in sick — June 6,
2005

London
attack heightens worldwide hatred of spineless terrorist jerks
— July 8, 2005