President
Bush has been nominated for a Purple Chin award for being
injured in the line of duty during his May 22 mountain bike
tumble. The commander-in-chief reportedly was thinking about
ways to fix his bone-headed war without admitting any mistakes
when he hit a loose patch of dirt.
Critics dismissed it as a silly attempt to beef
up his pathetic military record, first as a flighty
National Guard pilot and now as a bumbling war boss
foolish enough to don a flightsuit and pose with a bogus "Mission
Accomplished" banner.
Bush, who nearly made the ultimate sacrifice
after choking on a pretzel
in January 2002, also fell off a hi-tech Segway
scooter in June 2003, and dropped his pooch Barney
on its head last September.
Media analysts differ on what the president
might do for his next zany stunt. One suggested he parachute
into a U.S. military compound in Iraq carrying a fake turkey
for the troops. Another said he should accidentally shoot
himself in the foot at an NRA fundraiser to divert attention
from his malfeasant handling of the war.