Bush
relative holds slim lead
in Iraq pre-election polls

Polls show the early leader in the race for president of
Iraq is a little-known second cousin of President George W.
Bush.

Ahmad W. Bush, described as a fervent born-again Shiite who
favors tax cuts for oil industry warlords, holds a slim lead
over Jihad Party nominee Mohammed al-Mohamma-Lama-Dingdong.

Other contenders include Occupation Party leader Akbar Q.
Halliburton and Moral Values Party nominee Allah Bama-Slamma,
who supports beheading for adultery and pre-marital sex.

A White House spokesman said that, despite widespread violence
and complete disorganization, it is vitally important to stage
an Iraq election on the scheduled date of Jan. 30 because
"otherwise we’ll look like incompetent morons again."

Geopolitical pundits believe securing the Iraqi presidency
would strengthen the Bush family’s growing stranglehold on
the fate of the world.

President Bush’s brother, Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, is considered
by many to be the front-runner for the Republican presidential
nomination in 2008, and Jeb’s telegenic, Hispanic-blooded
son George P. Bush is said to be eying the presidency of Mexico.

Countries already under Bush control include oil-rich Saudi
Arabia, whose leader, Prince Bandar bin Sultan, is affectionately
known as Bandar Bush.

There are unconfirmed reports that former President George
H.W. Bush, an ex-military hero and CIA chief whose international
business connections enable him to profit from war, might
be sent into North Korea to "take out" President
Kim Jong-Il.

Media insiders say former first lady Barbara Bush provides
the "muscle," using fear, intimidation and threats
of military action against anyone who criticizes her family
dynasty.

This just in: Fox News is reporting that the president’s
impressive Nov. 2 victory validated the Bush family’s "mandate"
for world domination.