Air travel tips

Posted: June 8th, 2005 under Uncategorized.

Just got back from a trip to Florida.
Pretty smooth flight even though the pilot had a couple 12-packs in him.

In related news, the Humor Gazette’s IBS News team has obtained an exclusive copy of a controversial new airline industry safety pamphlet:

Air travel is safe and
fun


Always check under your
seat for terrorists before takeoff.

Never attempt to light
a stick of dynamite while aboard a commercial flight.


Only a small minority
of passenger flights result in a hideous "crash
landing."


Children who refuse
to "shut the hell up" should be smacked sharply
on the head.


Please keep all genitalia
inside your clothing for the duration of the flight.


If a terrorist should
brandish a box-cutter, leap out the nearest emergency
door.


Passengers are encouraged
to yell "Wheeee!" while sliding to safety.

Customers may enjoy our
complimentary oxygen during the death plunge.


Once the shark tears off
your legs, the seat cushion keeps your bloody torso
afloat.

1 Comment »

  1. You can save big money if you are willing to use off-the-beaten-path airports and sacrifice legroom during your flight. In Europe, for example, Ryanair and easyJet offer inexpensive fares Liat is an inexpensive Caribbean airline worth checking out. Check out some sites. 

    Comment by country code — May 3, 2012 @ 3:48 am

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