America on the fence on immigration
reform

By
John Breneman

Illegal aliens will be streaming across the border tonight
to catch President Bush’s prime-time address on how to stop
illegal aliens from streaming across the border.

The president is calling in the National Guard and suddenly
our friend Mexican President Vincente Fox is craving some
of that sweet uranium yellow cake.

Analysts say Mexicans are backdooring it into America because
they want to share the same eroding rights and liberties enjoyed
by U.S. citizens. Meanwhile, the latest poll reveals that
99 percent of the nation’s estimated 11 million illegal immigrants
could not be reached to participate in the latest poll.

Surveys show Americans are on the fence — a high-voltage,
barbed-wire fence — when it comes to border security and
immigration. 29 percent of Americans believe that, given his
track record of visionary leadership from Iraq to New Orleans,
President Bush is sure to figure out a wise solution to the
immigration tsunami.

However, 68 percent believe the U.S. could strengthen its
position on immigration and other issues by deporting Bush
to Mexico. Another 3 percent support "shipping them dang
aliens straight back to Mars."

On Thursday, President Bush will pay a video-op visit to
the Mexican border. Tentative plans call for Bush to chase
down a fleeing illegal on his mountain bike and give him the
old "Hasta la vista, baby."

In a related development, presidential pop George H.W. Bush
has offered to pull a shift patrolling the Rio Grande in his
supercharged cigarette boat.

Related stories:
House
passes Spanish "Banner" ban — May
3, 2006

Frito
Bandito busted on immigration charges — May 4,
2005