Senator
apolgizes for Nazi no-no

By John Breneman

With his jackboot-in-mouth use of the words “Nazi”
and “U.S. troops” in the same soundbite, Sen. Dick
Durbin invited a blitzkrieg of blowback and demonstrated once
again that mentioning Nazis in any context is about as smart
as cracking a bomb joke to an airport security guard.

Hitler rears his ugly head pretty regularly in the rough-and-tumble
world of dumbass remarks and humble apologies.

Pennsylvania
Sen. Rick Santorum had a Sgt. Schultz moment last
month. Wal-Mart
also did time in Stalag 13. Adolf even animated the Bush-Kerry
presidential war. And hapless Prince
Harry become a poster boy for Nazi numbskullism.

Bad sign for the state of American discourse that on the same
day Durbin
issued his apology, Indiana idiot Rep.
John Hostettler said that “like moths to a flame,
Democrats can’t help themselves when it comes to denigrating
and demonizing Christians.”

Oh the humanity. The Rev. Rep. Hostettler concluded his hyperbolic
House floor sermon by busting out a flaming cross to hold
the Jesus-hating, Nazi-loving Democratic heathens at bay.

Recent
advances have been made in the prevention of NFPS (Nazi Faux
Pas Syndrome). Research shows that a drug called Nazicept
is effective in regulating the area of the brain that compels
people to blurt out the word “Nazi.”

However, experts say it is vital that parents make sure their
children are aware of basic “Nazi etiquette.”

Right: “That Hitler was one evil son of a bitch.”

Wrong: “That Hitler had a pimped-out mustache.”

Right: “Adolf Hitler is the worst human being ever.”

Wrong: “Everybody knows (Hitler) was good at the beginning
but he just went too far.” (Former
Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott, 1996)

In a related development, the Nazi Police are pressuring filmmaker
Mel Brooks (“Springtime for Hitler”), Jerry Seinfeld
(“The Soup Nazi”) and the creators of “Hogan’s
Heroes” to issue retroactive apologies to anyone they
may have offended.

Related story:
When
Harry met Nazi — Jan. 14, 2005