Runaway bride-to-be abducted by aliens

By
John Breneman

The Georgia bride-to-be who disappeared days before her wedding
and told police she had been kidnapped has vanished again,
this time leaving a note saying she had been abducted by two
alien beings in a blue spaceship.

Jennifer Carol Wilbanks, 32, hopped a bus to Las Vegas last
week and turned up Friday in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where
she faces charges of false reporting of a crime and yelling
"Fire!" in a crowded theater.

Authorities say that upon returning home to Duluth, Georgia,
Wilbanks reunited with her jilted fiancé, rescheduled
her nuptials for today and upped the number of bridesmaids
and groomsman to 18 each.

But this morning family members found a note from Wilbanks
saying a pair of alien thugs had forced her to board a late-model
UFO. There was also evidence that she had shed her Earth clothing
and shaved her head.

Police say they are not buying the UFO story and are pursuing
an anonymous tip regarding alleged DNA similarities between
the bride and groom. They said other possible reasons for
her latest disappearance include depression over how the moral
decline of the media threatens the sanctity of marriage and
bad hair day.