President looking
to earn some extra cash

By
John Breneman

President Bush announced today he needs another $80 billion
to keep fighting his war in Iraq. But when critics hammered
him over where he expects America to come up with that kind
of cash, the president said he is thinking of getting a part-time
job.

"Bein’ president is hard work," said Bush. But
he added that he’s willing to pump gas or get a paper route
if it helps bring democracy to the whole wide world.

The president said he’d like to dig for oil in the Arctic
National Wildlife Refuge a couple nights a week or maybe use
his Texas tough talk to get some of those Guantanamo detainees
to spill the beans. And, when it comes to people like Mr.
Bush who have the clout to dish out lucrative no-bid defense
contracts, Halliburton is always hiring.

But those closest to the president say the job he is best
suited for is "clearing brush," an activity that
already occupies more of his time than, say, researching issues
like global climate change that are critical to the future
of our world.

And though there is not much brush to be found around the
Washington D.C. Beltway, insiders say there is plenty of "dead
wood" scattered throughout most government office buildings
and even the halls of Congress.

Other possible part-time jobs for the leader of the free
world include reading books to children during times of crisis,
knocking down that pesky wall between Church and State and
coming up with priceless material for late-night comedians.