Lame duck pardons turkey
By John Breneman
President Bush today pardoned a turkey that had been indicted
by a federal grand jury for leaking a highly classified U.S.
government cranberry sauce recipe.
The president then thanked the feisty, feathered beast for
its service to the country and awarded it the Congressional
Medal of Freedom. The bird, identified only as "Tom Doe,"
was also pardoned for attempting to sexually assault the president
during the photo-op.
Democrats reflexively gathered outside the White House to
protest the pardon, the war, White House malfeasance and Bush’s
smirking face. One man waved a banner calling the president
"soft on turkeyism."
President Bush is reportedly holed up at his ranch/bunker
in Crawford, Texas, where he is said to be excited about an
opportunity to "clear some brush."
The turkey is literally "going to Disneyland" —
resting its wings on a first-class flight to California to
serve as honorary
grand marshal in Disneyland’s annual Thanksgiving Day parade.
Related story:
Thanksgiving
down off’m Greenleaf Parsons Road