President says he won’t rule out using

military force to squash Democrats

By John Breneman

(Nov.
4, 2003)   WASHINGTON — With his poll numbers slipping,
President Bush said today he would not rule out using military
force if he feels any of the Democratic candidates poses a
significant threat to U.S. interests.

The president said he has evidence that retired Gen. Wesley
Clark and other Democratic contenders may be stockpiling chemical
and biological weapons in their campaign warchests. Further,
Bush said, the British government has documents purporting
to show that Sen. John Kerry attempted to purchase uranium
"yellow cake" from Niger.

"You’re either with us or you’re a terrorist,"
said Bush, who claimed to possess some "darn good intelligence"
revealing that each Democratic candidate opposes both the
president and his policies. Bush said he has learned that
Howard Dean and Joe Lieberman have ties to al Qaeda and that
Al Sharpton once invited Saddam Hussein and his sons to a
P. Diddy concert.

If the Democrats persist in criticizing the war in Iraq,
the president said he will have no choice but to "give
’em a taste of heavy artillery." Asked what types of
offenses might warrant a military response, Bush said he would
only consider deploying troops if the Democrats continue to
whine about U.S. casualties in Iraq and the need to seek help
from the international community.

The president’s mother, Barbara Bush, who recently called
the field of Democratic contenders "a pretty sorry group,"
said she stands prepared to use even harsher language "if
those pathetic liberal jackasses don’t stop harassing my Georgie."

Bush stopped short of issuing a formal declaration of war
against his rivals, but assured the American people that he
would not hesitate to use some of his favorite "nuke-u-lar
weapons" to defeat the menacing Democratic "axis
of evil."