Bush’s
new pen pal

The Humor Gazette has obtained a copy of Iranian President
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s followup letter to President Bush:

Dear Mr. President George W. Bush —

OK if I call you Dubya? I think maybe there’s some bad blood
between us, so I’m writing this letter because I really want
to have relations with you.

By the way, how’s Mrs. Bush and the girls? I hope they enjoy
the complimentary burkas. Sheesh, I just had to stone the
bejesus out of Mrs. Ahmadinejad because I caught her watching
"Oprah" on the Devil’s picture box. Women, eh? Can’t
live with ’em; can’t deny them basic human rights and dignity.
Oops I forgot, you can.

So maybe we could get together sometime. Doesn’t have to
be a big fancy "summit" or anything, just two guys
having some coffee or a couple dozen beers. Yeah, we could
go up to your place in Kennebunkport and play some tennis
or go fishing on your dad’s cigarette boat.

Now you might be asking yourself, "What’s in it for
me?" For one thing, I’ll stop calling you "The Great
Satan." You don’t need that hassle. How about "The
Best Satan Ever"? Now that’s some respect.

Also, please enjoy the Whitman’s Sampler of dates and sweet
mutton truffles. Oh, I almost forgot: What’s wrong with us
having a little taste of uranium yellow cake. For electricity,
man. Not for bombs, I swear. It’s all good.

Anyway, have your people call my people and we can set up
a meeting at a Starbucks. Good luck with those approval ratings,
amigo!

Your pal,
Mahmoud

Related story:
Iran
develops bird flu bomb — April 24, 2006