Canseco: Bush did steroids

Posted: February 14th, 2005 under Uncategorized.

Canseco claims he did steroids with Bush


First Lady Laura Bush said the
fact that her husband is "ripped" does not
prove he did steroids
with Jose Canseco.

By John Breneman

Former pro baseball knucklehead Jose Canseco claims in his
new book that he shared steroids not only with the slugger
Mark McGwire, but also with George W. Bush.

Canseco goes on to speculate that Bush’s subsequent behavior
— including his dishonest and boneheaded leadership in the
Iraq war — may be a result of the phenomenon known as "roid
rage."

Canseco claims that Bush — whose daddy’s friends gave him
a cushy baseball job with the Texas Rangers after he lost
his shirt in the oil industry — confided his desire to "get
big" and admitted he didn’t see it happening in business
or politics. Canseco says that when he suggested steroids,
Bush grinned and said, "Bring ’em on."

Bush, who served as a co-owner of the Rangers when Canseco
joined the team in 1992, denied any knowledge of steroid use
and claimed he has no recollection of the psychologically
deranged he-man ever poking him in the ass with a needle.

The White House issued a statement saying that when Bush
brought Canseco to Texas he had no clue that everyone else
in the world knew the artificially pumped-up player was a
poster boy for steroids.

Canseco — who also claims to have injected Barbara Bush,
Rush Limbaugh and Arnold Schwarzenegger — is unrepentant about
his own steroid use, saying that without the drug he might
never have become the only man in baseball history to have
a fly ball bounce off his head and into the stands for a home
run.

This just in: The White House is denying a report that Canseco
obtained nuclear weapons from North Korea in exchange for
shooting steroids into the buttocks of Kim Jong Il.

Related story:
How
Bush scored big with the Texas Rangers

Humor Gazette:
Steroids infiltrating
Washington, Wall Street

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