Cheney accidentally
detonates nuclear weapon

By John Breneman

Vice President Dick Cheney, already under fire for failing
to report that he shot a man in the face over the weekend,
is tight-lipped about a new report that he accidentally set
off a nuclear warhead in the Marshall Islands last week.

Sources say Cheney, a longtime weapons of mass destruction
enthusiast, was simply cleaning the launch mechanism when
the bomb suddenly went off. Fortunately no Americans were
killed in the blast, but a local dude ranch owner said some
unidentified natives were "peppered" with radiation.

Administration spokespinata Scott McClellan sustained moderate
damage during a relentless assault by the White House press
corps, demanding to know why five days had elapsed without
the vice president mentioning that he had triggered a mini-nuclear
holocaust.

Cheney received a warning from the United Nations for failure
to report a mushroom cloud. But a spokesman for the Nuclear
Rights Association said the NRA stands behind Cheney’s Second
Amendment right to bear arms that are capable of destroying
the planet.