Clinton the Librarian

Four American presidents join forces in Arkansas to fight for truth, justice and the American way.

It was raining presidents at the president-filled grand opening
of a library honoring the reign of President William Jefferson
Clinton.

The star-studded stage outside the glistening William J.
Clinton Presidential Center was flooded with presidential
testosterone as the War President, the Wimp President and
the Peanut President all paid tribute to the Penis President.

Hoping to project unity to the divided and hopelessly confused
nation, the two Democratic and two Republican presidents were
all hugs and kisses for the cameras, except when President
Bush Sr. said how much he "hated" Clinton for beating
his ass in a debate and for being 10 times more charismatic
and visionary.

The current President Bush had kind words for Clinton, saying
that in the soft focus of history he is "not such a scumbag
after all."

Red and blue TV viewers in now-quiet battleground states
sat on the edge of their seats as media pundits gushed about
Clinton the "rock star" and how his legacy will
be forever semen-stained by sex with a groupie.

Two of Clinton’s rock star buddies, Bono and the Edge of
U2, were the headline performers for a crowd that included
noted standup comics Robin Williams and Karl Rove. Noted non-president
John Kerry was also on hand, sporting a $27,000 L.L. Bean
Rain-Buster kevlar umbrella.

The $165 million glass-and-steel Clinton center is the most
expensive library ever erected, partly because extra square
footage was needed to house the former president’s expansive
collection of pornography and sex scandal member-abilia.

The structure features a dimly lit "porn alcove"
with rare XXX titles like "Midnight Filibuster"
and "Hillary Does Congress," and an interactive
exhibit where visitors can experience the heady sensation
of taking a puff of marijuana without actually inhaling.

Related story:
Clinton memoir
penned with company ink