Dukes of Hazzard support Dean

By John
Breneman

The fabled "Dukes of
Hazzard" endorsed Democratic presidential candidate
Howard Dean today, responding to Dean’s recent comment
that he wants to be "the candidate for guys with
Confederate flags in their pickup trucks."

Support from Southern icons
Bo and Luke Duke was welcome news for Dean, who sparked
a controversy with his casual mention of the banner that
symbolizes the repression and enslavement of African-Americans.

The former Vermont governor
was in full damage control mode today, saying what he
really meant was that he wants to be "the candidate
for guys who drink shots of Jack Daniels out of Dixie
cups."

The incident forced the Dean
camp to address criticism of racial insensitivity. Newly
hired spokesman Kunta Kinte III said Dean subsisted on
a diet of chitlins and collard greens while putting himself
through medical school and is a big fan of the TV sitcom
"Whoopi."

The Dukes said the moment they
heard Dean might need their help they hopped through the
busted-out windows of the General Lee — their famed 1969
Dodge Charger with a Confederate flag painted on top —
and hit the gas, spitting up dust and getting the needle
up to 135 mph on their way to Vermont.

New poll numbers released today
show Dean running well ahead of his rivals in pivotal
Hazzard County now that the Dukes have pledged to help
him "get that greedy Boss Hogg out of the White House."

11-07-03