Frito Bandito busted on immigration charges

By
John Breneman

Immigration officials say they arrested the Frito Bandito
at the Mexican border today trying to transport an 18-wheeler
full of illegal aliens to a corn chip-processing facility
in Chula Vista, California.

While officials from Homeland Security and the Department
of Justice wrangled for jurisdiction over the case some FBI
men tried to interrogate the alleged Bandito, but all he would
say was, "We don’t need no stinking badges."

The legendary snack food icon reportedly went "underground"
after Doritos and Cheetos and extra-strength Tostitos surpassed
his once-dominant Fritos in popularity among American consumers,
then quickly climbed to #1 on the INS "most wanted"
list.

The heavily armed Bandito surrendered without a firefight,
but he now claims he was roughed up by Immigration Dept. agents
who he claims yanked his mustachio and ruined his sombrero.
He referred all questions to his attorney F. Lee "Speedy"
Gonzalez.

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