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Fistful of Jelly Beans
The presidency, The Gipper now reminds us, is performance
art.
And so George Bush, badly miscast as leader of the free world,
plays President George W. Bush — part action hero, part villain,
part Burt Reynolds ham — with a devious twinkle and a trillion-dollar
smirk.
It is no secret that to faithfully execute their duties as
Infotainers-in-Chief, both men have drawn inspiration from
iconic movie strongmen Clint Eastwood and John Wayne.
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Dutch did Dirty Harry. "Make my day."
Bush does the Duke. "Dead or alive."
You with me, punk?
It’s Dutch, the Duke, Josey and George.
And it can get a little confusing.
Did Reagan star in "Hellcats of the Navy" (1957)?
Or was it Bush in "Hellcat of the National Guard"
(1972)?
Was it Wayne in "Sands of Iwo Jima" or W. in "Sands
of Mesopotamia"?
John showed us "How the West Was Won" and the West
won the Cold War with Ron. Clint gripped his "Fistful
of Dollars," Ronnie his "Fistful of Jelly Beans."
Mucho cowboy karma links the swaggering Duke to the Tumbleweed
Shrub. Wayne played "The Lucky Texan" in 1934. Bush
was born into the same role in 1946.
Duke did "Back to Bataan." Bush, "Back to
Baghdad."
Wayne personified "True Grit." Bush personifies
"True Git."
Year
after year, Wayne rode the white horse in films whose titles
now haunt the White House. "Born Reckless" (1930),
"Two-Fisted Law" (1932), "Texas Terror"
(1935), "The Lawless Nineties" (1936), "They
Were Expendable" (1945), "Without Reservations"
(1946), "Angel and the Badman" (1947), "Plunder
of the Sun" (1953), "Trouble Along the Way"
(1953), "The High and the Mighty" (1954), "Blood
Alley" (1955), "The Conqueror" (1956), "Circus
World" (1964), "Cast a Giant Shadow" (1966)
and "Hellfighters" (1968).
You get my meaning, Pilgrim?
Once those tinhorn judges named Bush sheriff he headed East,
Eastwood-style, packing a "Fistful of Tax Cuts,"
trigger finger on his .44 Magnum, itching to bust Saddam Hussein
"Every Which Way But Loose." The star of "Sudden
Impact" has had more than a subtle impact on the failed
Texas oilman turned international enforcer.
Clint’s movie titles, too, echo through the Bush filmography.
"Revenge of the Creature" (1955), "The Beguiled"
(1971), "The Dead Pool" (1988), "White Hunter,
Black Heart" (1990), "Absolute Power" (1997),
"True Crime" (1999) and "Space Cowboys"
(2000).
"The Good, the Bad and the Axis of Evil."
From
Knute Rockne to Newt Gingrich, Dutch and W. cross paths along
the dusty trail. Rancher Reagan’s brand was the Silver Screen,
Bush’s the Silver Spoon. Ronnie instinctively knew when it
was "Bedtime for Bonzo." Not so with Georgie and
"Bedtime for Rummy." Reagan ordered Mr. Gorbachev
to "tear down this wall." The wall Mr. Bush wants
demolished separates Church and State.
The Hollywood airbrush could never mask all of Ronald Reagan’s
warts. But he seemed sincere when he evoked the spirit of
his 1943 short film "For God and Country." In President
Bush’s script those words read more like a soundbite from
a spaghetti western.
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