Oscar
the Grouch snubbed at Oscars

By
John Breneman

Oscar the Grouch is claiming he actually wrote the script
for Best Picture winner "Crash," only his version
was called "Trash" and instead of cops it focused
on garbage men.

A spokesman said the notoriously grumpy muppet has been furious
at Hollywood for decades, believing he was snubbed by the
Academy for his 1974 performance as a hirsute, green Stanley
Kowalski in "Sesame Streetcar Named Desire."

"Crash" beat out "Brokeback Mountain,"
the fabulous gay cowboy sensation loosely based on a story
conceived by Ernie and Bert.

Talk about your Oscar Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
baloney.

Amid all the sassy speculation about which actresses had
hair/leg/breast extensions or whether a naughty Isaac Mizrahi
would sexually assault one of the starlets, here are a couple
funny soundbites from the eyebrow analysts over at E:

"So who knows? Maybe Mariah will have an Oscar
very soon."
E’s Ryan Seacrest,
noting the pop singer is making a movie with somebody Halle
Berry worked with on "Monster’s Ball"

"Young girls out there, that’s the body you want."

E’s Giuliana DePandi,
urging impressionable teens to use Salma Hayek as their body-image
role model

"When someone says ‘no comment’ it means ‘yes’."
US Weekly’s Ken Baker,
on Naomi Watts not denying that Nicole Kidman is marrying
Keith Urban