How
to tell if yer president is a redneck
Yep. Billy Buck Teefus here American redneck savant.
I heard that Foxworthy feller on the TV talkin bout
if this-n-that-whatever
you might be a
redneck. And I figure I must be one, cause nine outta 10 of
them sumbitches I sez yes to all of em.
Dang right Is got a rag fer a gas cap? And whats
wrong with takin a load down to the dump and comin
home with a bigger one?
This heres America!
Aint nothin wrong with bein a redneck?
President of the U-nited States is one, aint he?
Least accordin to that you-might-be-a-redneck test,
you figure:
If you gits 4,000 American soldiers killed in an unnecessary
war, and then start bragging that wes kicking
ass … you might be a redneck president.
If you live in the White House, butd rather spend five
months a year out in Texas clearin brush … you might
be a redneck president.
If yer idea of diplomacy is tgo around rootin
tootin shootin off words like smoke em out,
bring em on and dead or alive
… you might be a redneck president.
And, sure enough, if yer second in command shoots a huntin
buddy in the face …
you might be a redneck president.
Editor’s note: Billy Buck Teefus is a fictional
character. His opinions do not necessarily reflect those of
the Boston Herald, the Humor Gazette or the American redneck
community.