Hi,
I’m Patti Arbuckle.

I lost 452 pounds thanks to the Humor Gazette Diet, and you
can too.

Two months ago I was so friggin’ fat, I had given up all
hope of ever seeing my (censored) ever again.

But then one night while cramming fistfuls of Doritos and
unrefined Domino’s sugar into my piehole during a 3 a.m. "Cagney
& Lacey" rerun, I saw a commercial for the miracle
diet that saved my life.

The Humor Gazette Diet’s special blend of carbs, calories
and cholesterol interacts with your body’s own metabolism
to melt those pounds away.

I admit I was skeptical … didn’t believe I could lose
weight by combining unusual delicacies like goat beef and
Lucky Charms cereal. But before I knew it, that extra quarter-ton
of blubber had disappeared and my skin hung on me like a cheap
radiation suit.

Now I’ve gained a quarter-ton of self-esteem AND rediscovered
my enthusiasm for stamp collecting, long pony rides and sexual
intercourse.

Thank you, Humor Gazette!!