Hussein
dope-slapped in Iraq election

By John Breneman

Baath Party dirtbag Saddam Hussein garnered just 12 write-in
votes in yesterday’s historic election, as voters rejected
his pledge to trim federal spending on rape rooms and his
campaign slogan "No new genocides."

The election results won’t be known for about two weeks as
the nation slaps together a Supreme Court to rule on who won.
But FOX News has already scooped rival networks by being the
first to declare President George W. Bush the big winner.

Geopolitical pundits are calling the vote a triumphant
milestone in Iraq’s violent transition to an Islamocratic
form of government, and a mandate for President Bush’s crusade
to rid the world of non-democracy.

"Mohammed Q. Public and Jamal Lunch-Bucket have sent
a clear message that they want freedom, especially freedom
of the press," said Baghdad Gazette editor Asshat Jumanji.
The lead story by Staff Sgt. Jeff Gannon carried the headline
"Bush and U.S. liberators praised for bringing democracy
to Iraq."

Others receiving write-in votes for the Iraqi parliament:
Slobodan Milosevic, Kareem
Abdul Jabbar and Jacko.