Forces nab Jacko’s #2 man in Pakistan

Authorities say Abu Faraj al-Libbi is Michael Jackson’s #2 man in Iraq.

By John Breneman

Al
Qaeda’s #3 leader, captured this week by Pakistani forces,
is also a top-ranking Michael Jackson lieutenant in the region,
according to completely fabricated reports.

Abu Faraj al-Libbi, a blotchy-faced Libyan terror kingpin,
reportedly suffers the same skin condition as the embattled
King of Pop, whom he met at a vitiligo victims support group
in 1992.

Sources say the pop star had a profound influence on the
young jihadist, who later worked as a Michael Jackson impersonator
and is known in some circles as "Iraq-O Jacko."

Al-Libbi refused to reveal any information about his relationship
with Jackson, but under intense questioning with women’s underwear
strapped to his head revealed that he once saw Osama bin Laden
molest his pet chimpanzee, Lord Fauntleroy.

He said he had last seen bin Laden six months ago at a Ramada
Inn in Baghdad, where the al Qaeda boss had arranged a secret
rendezvous to share tips about eluding manhunts with notorious
Boston mobster Whitey Bulger.

Bin Laden usually registers under the aliases Al Carter,
Fred Bush or Sammy McLaden, according to Al-Libbi, who also
confessed that bin Laden hates broccoli, has a schoolboy crush
on Laura Bush and never travels far unless accompanied by
his harem of bisexual monkeys.