Kate Gosselin survived her showdown with a
heavily armed Palin by cutting short their rain-soaked camping
adventure, gathering up her litter of eight and high-tailing
it back to the Lower 48.

In a bears-and-bullets story line intended
to contrast Palin’s boasty ruggedness with Gosselin’s gun-shy
wussiness, Yosemite Sarah squeezed off shotgun blasts with
near-cartoonish vigor. This week’s excuse for Palin to demonstrate
her Second Amendment prowess was a course in bear safety
(her contract requires that at least one hail of gunfire
per episode).

Last Sunday, under the pretense of filling
the freezer for her hungry family, (Operation:
Reindeer Slay) she went on a $2.4 million (or whatever)
caribou safari. After several entertaining misfires, she
"bagged an animal" — scoring some sweet, free-range
caribou meat that the Alaska
Dispatch estimated cost $200 a pound.

Hyped as a must-see, reality TV Kodiak moment,
the Mama Grizzly drama fizzled when — after a riveting
exchange of horrified grimaces and OMG eye-rolls — Gosselin
bailed on Palin, having endured as much as she could bear.

(Safety tip: If you encounter a Palin in the
wild, remain calm and slowly back away while reciting the
Pledge of Allegiance.)

RELATED LINKS:
Jimmy
Kimmel’s heavily armed "Palins vs. Gossselins"
spoof video (photo above)