Photos prove Saddam possessed BVDs

By
John Breneman

President Bush said today that photos published in a London
tabloid prove Saddam Hussein possessed a terrifying arsenal
of BVDs.

Calling the images "horrifying" and "definitely
not sexy," Bush invited the civilized world to join him
in mocking the defrocked dictator and his feeble act of "half-naked
aggression."

When reminded that his reason for war was Hussein’s WMDs
and not his BVDs, the president grinned and said, "Naked
aggression, heh-heh."

Responding to charges that the U.S. only inflames anti-American
hatred with stories about Koran shenanigans and photo of scantily
clad dictators and pig-piled detainees, President Bush said,
"C’mon, we’re not trying to humiliate the man. I mean,
we’ve almost got that sucker potty trained. Wacky little madman.
I’ve got his pistol."

Bush explained that the controversial photographs were actually
part of an elaborate prank pulled by Defense Secretary Donald
Rumsfeld.

"Yeah, Rumsfeld punked him," said Bush, "somehow
convinced him he was getting a conjugal visit from Angelina
Jolie." But instead of a pouty-lipped sexpot, Hussein
instead found himself on a blind date with an elite U.S. paparazzi
unit.

A spokesman said Hussein is eager to begin filing lawsuits
and added that, despite the circumstances, the aspiring Hanes
poster boy feels "good all under."

A high-ranking lieutenant in the Hugo Boss organization said
Hussein could have a promising future in the underwear industry.
"Bad is good, evil is money and Hussein’s got this sort
of Marky Mark meets Hitler thing going."

Calvin Klein could not be reached for comment.