By
John Breneman

Several people were hurt and 140 million Americans
sustained an estimated $9 billion in damage to their bank
accounts on Black Friday — the coordinated pre-dawn assault
on the nation’s retailers also known as "Operation Shop
and Awe."

The quest to obtain the most sophisticated video-game
weapons technology led to scattered violence, with unconfirmed
reports of Shiite shoppers targeting Sunni PlayStations in
strife-torn Circuit City.

Experts say the post-Thanksgiving economic offensive
marks the opening salvo in the annual campaign to spend billions
on material goods for Jesus’ birthday. Several wise men representing
the National Retail Federation predict U.S. shoppers will
fork over $457.4 billion before the Dec. 25 deadline.

This
despite simmering tensions between the (cheapo 42-inch plasma
TV) haves and have-nots, and heightened concern over how U.S.
policies affect the availability of Tickle Me Elmo T.M.X.

Related story:
Bush
eyes Santa for Cabinet post — Dec. 13, 2005