Mother’s Day card yields clues on bin Laden

FBI profilers say Osama bin Laden’s psycopathic behavior is rooted in conflicted feelings about his mother (pictured above).

By John Breneman

Authorities hunting for Osama bin Laden tracked the elusive
terrorist mama’s boy to Akbar’s House of Flowers in Afghanistan,
where he sent his mom a cheap bouquet and a cheesy card promising
"the mother of all Mother’s Days."

"Dear Mimsie — Ten thousand virgins could not stop
me from showering you with hatred, I mean love," read
the card, which was intercepted by U.S. authorities and also
included a gift certificate for a new burka from Old Navy.

One FBI profiler claims bin Laden’s all-consuming quest to
"kill whitey" is rooted in unresolved feelings about
his mother, who reportedly pushed him to become a doctor,
lawyer or oil tycoon and did not hide her disappointment when
he instead became an international hate-monger.

Sources say the young bin Laden grew up hopelessly confused
about how his mother’s reverence for Allah squared with her
passion for Western television programs like "Maude,"
"The Jeffersons" and "Love, American Style."

Margaret "Ma" bin Laden once told Geraldo Rivera
that she tried to get young Osama to play baseball or marbles,
but he was always too busy waging backyard "holy wars"
against imaginary "infidels." She also confided
that she long ago gave up her dream that he would someday
buy her a cable-ready condominium in Palm Beach.