Sarah Palin book review: ‘Going Redneck’

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Sarah Palin book review: ‘Going Redneck’

Yep, Billy Buck Teefus here — American redneck savant.

Here to tell you that – if you like pitbulls and hockey moms
and "real Americans" — why, you ain’t gonna find
a better book than this here new best-seller from Miss Sarah
Palin — "Goin’ Vogue."

Them that can read tells me it’s getting poor reviews from
the godless elite liberal media.

But I like Sarah Palin, cause she knows how to pander to
lowest common denominator types like me. Plus, we both believe
in the God-given right of every fetus to own a gun.

So go on out and get yerself a copy of "Goin’ Vogue"
— why, it’s chock full of homespun, common-sense misinformation
about how to field dress Katie Couric and how to fight off
one of President Obama’s death panels.

Palin
calls National Geographic cover ‘sexist’

Sarah
‘Going Vogue’ in maverick memoir

Billy
Buck Teefus:
Thanksgiving blessing ’07

Billy
Buck Teefus:
Redneck Xmas album

Comments (0) Nov 10 2010

Palin enters Miss Anti-America pageant

Posted: under Uncategorized.

Palin eyes Miss Anti-America pageant crown

Good
evening, I’m Humor Gazette news anchorman Reid Page and this
is the 13 O’Clock News.

CLICK
HERE FOR VIDEO

Tonight — political beauty queen Sarah Palin: Friend or
foe?

Sunday was Palin’s last day as governor of Alaska, and now
that the godless, East Coast liberal media has forced her
to hand over her crown to the first runner-up, the former
Miss Wasilla is aiming to become the first woman ever to claim
a repeat title as Miss Communication.

Palin’s
natural flair for political pageantry endeared her to millions
after John McCain crowned her Miss GOP Running Mate 2008,
and the former Miss Alaska second runner-up strutted across
that Bridge From Nowhere and wowed ’em with her lipstick on
a pitbull hockey mom acceptance speech.

Critics dissed her as a dizzy diva, unqualified to run the
country. But the popular Palin picked up several more titles
out on the campaign trail, where she was crowned Miss Adventure,
Miss Quotation and Miss Informed.

After the election, the glamorous governor continued to tout
herself for the title of Miss Understood. However, sources
say she missed the national spotlight in Alaska, where her
hopes for fresh pageant glory seemed limited despite repeated
nominations for Miss Behavior and Miss Conduct.

The moment she announced her resignation, the foxy newsmaker
was widely hailed as Miss Leader. And now that she’s quit,
most pundits consider her a sexy, high-heeled shoo-in for
Miss Calculation.

She can write those memoirs, keep posting bitter Tweet nothings
on Twitter, and – if she plays her maverick cards right and
gets more people to hate the socialist president — many believe
that by 2012 she could earn the ultimate title … Miss
Anti-America.

Comments (0) Nov 09 2010

How’d Diddy do on ‘SNL’?

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How’d Diddy do on ‘SNL’?

By CHRIS ELLIOTT    Well, Diddy diddled with his name again. Did he? Yes, he
did. Sean Combs, aka Puffy, aka Puff Daddy, aka Puff, aka P Diddy, aka
Daddy Diddy, aka Sean John. Diddy’s new crew is called Diddy Dirty Money, the entertainment portion of tonight’s episode of SNL, and he was superb. I am in a
default position of admiring Sean Combs’ business acumen and not
his work, but I must give DDM a borderline rave review for this evening’s
performance.

His first selection was “Coming Home,” a self-revelatory,
partially arrhythmic rap vocal supported by a great arrangement featuring
live drums and strings, and spectacular backing vocals. The mix was excellent,
and DDM’s vocal was clearly articulated, and believe it or not, believable.
He cites three song titles, the first being Smokey Robinson’s “Tears
of a Clown,” stating that he has always hated the song, as he has
always felt that it is about him. It may be tough to feel sympathy for
the travails of a half- billionaire music and fashion mogul, but he effectively
communicates the loss of sense of self that happens in the lives of many
celebrities. DDM expresses that notion succinctly: “It’s easy
to be Puff, it’s harder to be Sean.”   (WATCH
VIDEO)


"Kayak Asshole" — a folk parody

Secondly he cites “A House is not a Home” by Dionne
Warwick, another heartbreaking lyric for the Didster, as it underlines
the surface nature of success relative to a rich, satisfying family life.
He ends his song references with “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now,”
holding its message up as trying to see the best of the path that led
him to where he is, alongside a redemptive view of the future. Shakespeare
it ain’t, but in its context, it is believable, sincere and heartfelt.
The arrangement leaves plenty of free time at the ends of verses which
DDM makes the most of, improvising and exhorting his band to make the
most of the moment.

For
his second piece, the Puffy one leaned more heavily on his back vocal
lineup and secondary rapper, and all turn in a good enough performance.
The secondary rapper is only okay, though he is not asked to do much,
mostly repeating the song’s hook, “When you’re in the club
you dance so low…” The backing vocalists had some minor pitch
problems, but overall nailed the performance, and were a critical component
of this super high energy dance club killer. The high point of the tune
was again DDM’s contribution, and I’m sure he planned it that
way. Overall high marks from this desk. A rose by any other is still a
rose, as it is with a Diddy.

VIDEO:
"DRILL SERGEANT LOSES IT" (Elliott in action!)

Comments (0) Nov 05 2010

Negative Ads: What if terrorists had to get elected?

Posted: under Uncategorized.

Negative Ads: What if terrorists had to
get elected?

I was sick of being bombarded by negative ads. So I made
these satirical … negative ads. Inspired by the question:
What if terrorists had to get elected?

WATCH the three negative ads — combined in a thought-provoking
package — at right.

Negative
Ad Attacks Terrorist Candidate

Abdul Hussein is on record admitting he OPPOSES killing innocent
women and children …

Negative
Ad: Extreme Politics

Marvin Smith is on record saying he thinks it’s WRONG to stomp
on the heads of one’s political opponents …

Negative
Ad Attacks Schoolchild

An ECONOMIC BURDEN to his family, Jimmy Jr. drains hard-earned
TAXPAYER DOLLARS from his community …

RELATED VIDEOS:
Fox
News brainwashes American redneck savant

The
Tea Party

Comments (0) Nov 01 2010

Sources: Rocker Rob Zombie not an actual zombie

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Sources:
Rocker Rob Zombie not an actual zombie

By
John Breneman

Rock musician Rob Zombie, one of the nation’s best-known
bogeymen and a role model for a generation of young mutants,
is not an actual zombie, the Humor Gazette has learned.

In fact, documents reveal that Zombie is not even Mr. Zombie’s
real name. Born Robert Bartleh Cummings in Massachusetts,
he is a 1983 graduate of Haverhill High School, where he was
voted "Most Likely to Devour the Flesh of a Rotting Human
Corpse."

Mr. Zombie, whose body of work includes such sensitive numbers
as "Superbeast," "The Devil’s Rejects"
and "Scum of the Earth," is considered a pioneer
in the genre of satanic, sub-grunge anti-pop.

However,
even though he has mastered zombie habits like gnawing on
people’s necks and staggering around trancelike with his arms
extended, his image has been bloodied by the allegation that
he is not a real zombie, but a Massachusetts-born, monster-man
wannabe.

Local 666, International Brotherhood of the Undead released
a statement saying it became suspicious of Mr. Zombie when
it learned he is only 41. Most zombies are anywhere from several
hundred to a couple thousand years old. It also noted that
Mr. Zombie is "a masterful self-promoter," whereas
most zombies avoid publicity like the morning sun.

Related reading:
"Everything
You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies But Were Too Horrified
to Ask"

Movies:
"Revenge
of the Living Dead 5: Dibs on the Brain Meat"

Comments (0) Oct 29 2010

Baby’s First Pitbull

Posted: under Uncategorized.

Can’t figure out what to get for
the birthday baby who has everything? Just imagine the joy on Baby’s tiny
face when he lays his baby blues on … Baby’s First Pitbull.

What better fuzzy companion could
there be — for the modern toddler on the go — than a vicious
domesticated killing machine with a skull-crushing jaw and
razor-sharp fangs?

With his hair-trigger temper, Baby’s
First Pitbull enhances Baby’s street reputation as an infant
not to messed with. Plus, Baby’s cuddly, bloodthirsty new
pal will help keep him or her safe from external threats.*

* Chance of death by mauling
just 14 percent.

ALSO:

Ex-Chihuahua
sues Paris Hilton

Florida
crackbaby is America’s 300 millionth person

Swine
flu over the cuckoo’s nest

Tweety
Bird sues Twitter for $500M

Comments (0) Oct 25 2010

Fox News watcher Billy Buck Teefus sez Obama …

Posted: under Uncategorized.

Fox News brainwashes American redneck savant

BILLY BUCK TEEFUS: Yep, Billy Buck Teefus here –
American redneck savant. Well. Obama, he seems like a nice,
level-headed young feller. But I heard on Fox News that he
was a: communist, facist, racist, elitist, egotist …

Czarist, Muslim extremist, radical Islamist, militant leftist,
socialist, anti-socialist, anarchist, limp wrist, Leninist,
Stalinist, Marxist, Maoist, Hitlerist, Idi Amin-ist, Darwinist,
Confucianist, jack-bootist, pro-abortionist, brown supremacist,
teleprompter ventriloquist. Plus, he pals around with terrorists.

And them folks at Fox wouldn’t steer us wrong, would
they?

VIDEO
BOOK REVIEW:

Billy Buck Teefus, the
American Redneck Savant,
reviews "Going Vogue" by Sarah Palin

SATIRE
VIDEO: The Tea Party


Comments (0) Apr 13 2010

The Tea Party

Posted: under Uncategorized.

The Tea Party

Two little girls discuss Tea Party politics while having a lovely tea party.

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this video are
actual statements from actual right-wing influence-makers,
and actual images widely on display at actual Tea Party events.

OBVIOUSLY these views are not shared by ALL Tea Party people.

I salute the citizen activism of all well-intentioned Tea
Party people who reject these views, and hope they agree that
such views have no place in American political discourse.

VIDEO
BOOK REVIEW:

Billy Buck Teefus, the
American Redneck Savant,
reviews "Going Vogue" by Sarah Palin

Comments (0) Mar 30 2010

Groundhog predicts groundhog-led government takeover

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Groundhog predicts groundhog-led government
coup

By
John Breneman

Punxsutawney Phil, the Pennsylvania groundhog credited with
being able to forecast the coming of spring, popped out of
his burrow yesterday and predicted six more weeks of government
gridlock.

The groundhog also predicted the emergence of a groundhog-led
political party, followed by six decades of peace and prosperity
under iron-fisted groundhog rule.

The fuzzy, buck-toothed prophet then bit one of its top-hatted
handlers and scampered back into its heavily fortified underground
bunker — a move said to portend six more weeks of economic
gloom.

Additional predictions by Punxsutawney Phil include:

— A shocking 35-31 Groundhog victory in Super Bowl XLIV.

— Six more years of the little guy getting screwed by Washington
and Wall Street fat cats.

— Six more weeks of hibernation, y’all.


Comments (0) Feb 03 2010