Pakistan protesters rally behind Bluto

By
John Breneman

Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf today put opposition
leader Benazir Bluto on double secret probation.

Bluto is accused of inciting pro-democracy food fights and
an anti-Musharraf plot involving 10,000 marbles.

Musharraf, sharply criticized for placing his country under
emergency rule Nov. 3, issued a statement evoking the words
of the infamous American disciplinarian Dean Vernon Wormer:

"There is a little-known codicil in the Faber College/Pakistan
Constitution which gives the Dean/Dictator unlimited power
to preserve order in time of campus/national emergency."

The beloved, hard-drinking Bluto — a distant cousin of former
Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto — is now said to be organizing
a massive toga protest.

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