Armchair pundits offer electric chair analysis

Speculation now shifts to whether the heartless, Viagra-popping Peterson’s complete lack of a human soul will hurt him during death penalty deliberations.

Now that a jury has found California psycho Scott Peterson
guilty of killing his wife and unborn son, the sensational
round-the-clock media coverage shifts to whether Peterson
will get the death penalty.

Public opinion is divided on whether Peterson should live
or die, but polls show there is near universal agreement on
one thing – the Scott Peterson "story" must be put
to death as soon as possible.

"Death penalty, life in prison … doesn’t matter to
me. That murdering scum deserves whatever they give him,"
said a man on the street. "But I’ll tell you, I’m sick
of how the media has been beating this case to death. I swear
if they don’t let up I may go on a spree myself."

Though several legal analysts pointed out they had predicted
a verdict might be reached on Friday, none had a clue how
inane their commentary sounded when woven together with other
similarly obvious and repetitive soundbites.

When word came late Friday that the verdict was first-degree
murder, the same legal analysts were reintroduced as armchair
electric chair experts to speculate about whether the clone-faced
Peterson will live or die … or use the appeals court process
to haunt us eternally from some media overkill netherworld.