Pope
says Islam is ‘really swell’

By
John Breneman

Pope Benedict XVI, reaching
out to Muslims offended by his recent comments about
Islam being an "evil" religion, today said he actually
believes Islam is "really swell."

"Oh yeah. I have a lotta new Muslim pals and they are
really good dudes," the pontiff told Al-Jazeera morning
show host Regis Zawahiri. "Seeing myself being burned
in effigy around the world was kind of a wakeup call. It was
like, duh, I’m not the boss of Mohammed."

The pope said "the Koran, the Qur’an — whatever you
call it — is a real page-turner," but observers said
he seemed fidgety and kept looking back over his left shoulder
as he concluded his remarks. "To recap, Islam is really
awesome. So please don’t firebomb the Vatican, OK?"

In a related development, the artist formerly known as Cat
Stevens (and currently known Shut Your Piehole, Idiot)
spoke out against the pope, saying his remarks cast a dark
"Moon Shadow" over the papacy and urging the pontiff to get
onboard the "Peace Train."

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