Pope
suffers pulled hamstring

By John Breneman

Pope John Paul II, whose ongoing health woes have sidelined
him for the services leading up to Easter this Sunday, received
more bad news on Good Friday. Sources say the pontiff suffered
a pulled hamstring while sprinting down the first-base line
to beat out a drag bunt during a spirited game of whiffle
ball.

The 84-year-old pontiff, who also suffers from Parkinson’s
disease and severe arthritis and is still recuperating from
recent throat surgery, is widely considered the most durable
pope of all time.

As one of God’s highest-ranking representatives here on earth,
Pope John Paul has inspired billions during his 26-year papal
career with his spiritually, his beneficence and his courageous
refusal to let health woes and even a 1981 assassination attempt
impede him from his work blessing the Lord’s wayward creatures.
He has twice been named "Sexiest Pontiff Alive"
by Papal Magazine.

In addition to his recent health struggles, sources say the
pope has not yet fully recovered from the World Series defeat
suffered last fall by his favorite team, the St. Louis Cardinals.

Related story:
Pope
John Paul a perennial contender for United Nations "Best
Hat" award