Red Sox fans suffering from Postseason Traumatic Stress Disorder

Posted: October 16th, 2009 under Uncategorized.

Red Sox fans suffering
from
Postseason Traumatic Stress Disorder

By John Breneman

When the Boston Red Sox swept the New York Yankees in early
June to bring their season record against the Bronx Bombers
to 8-0, even the most realistic Sox fan had visions of the team rolling through the postseason to claim its third World Series title of the decade.

But now that Boston has been swept from the playoffs by the
Angels, sports psychologists estimate that up to 82 percent
of Red Sox Nation may be suffering from … Postseason Traumatic
Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Symptoms include:
O Sensations of droopiness in your “We’re
#1” foam finger.
O Recurring flashbacks to October of 1986.
O Delusion that TV clicker can be used to change playoff
loss into victory.
O Irrational fear of men named Vladimir and anyone
clad in pinstripes.
O Unshakable feeling that Manny Ramirez is laughing
at you.
O
Hallucinations involving the frozen, severed head of Ted Williams.

Leading sports neurologists report there is no cure, though
some counselors suggest afflicted Sox fans may benefit from
a treatment once used by supporters of the old Brooklyn Dodgers
called “Wait till next year” therapy.

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