Republican
presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is denying allegations
that he is a robotic humanoid with Teflon hair made in China
by the Koch brothers.

Unlike traditional human politicians, the
Romney is wired to calibrate its positions based solely
on political expediency — suffering no moral compunction
about switching from a pro-choice stance to gain election
as governor of Massachusetts to fervently pro-life as the
front-running Republican cyborg in the 2012 presidential
race.

The strapping, kevlar politician — whose
“face” is said to be molded from a top-secret,
space-age polymer — has been dogged by allegations that
he is a plastic opportunist ever since a 2007 Concord Monitor
editorial branded him a raging, hypocritical “phony.”

But experts say it’ll take more than a little
Romneycare scandal to derail the Mitt, which has carved
out a front-runner spot in the 2012 race by disguising itself
as a pandering corporate confidence man.

#
# #

Romney
should not be the next president   (Concord
Monitor, Dec. 22, 2007)
Mitt
has a dream    (Humor Gazette, Dec.
30, 2007)

# # #

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