Hussein attorneys claim he’s insane

By
John Breneman

Legal analysts say Saddam Hussein plans to fight charges
of war crimes and genocide by pleading temporary insanity.

"I am Saddam Hussein, president of Iraq," said
the disgraced ex-dictator, adding, "Saddam I am. I do
not like green eggs and ham."

Hussein told an Iraqi judge
that he is also a CIA hitman, a Mesopotamian deity and a porn
star known by the stage name Dick Tater. The desperate Hussein
also claimed he
partied with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld back in 1983-84.

Noted legal superstar Johnnie Cochran told Don Imus that
he told Oprah that Hussein’s insanity defense is bolstered
by the fact that President Bush has called him a "madman"
approximately 12,465 times since Sept. 11, 2001.

But White House spokesman Scott McClellan responded that
Bush used the term "rhetorically," much like the
words "grave and gathering threat," "weapons
of mass destruction" and "links to al Qaeda."

McClellan reminded reporters that God had specifically instructed
President Bush to take over Iraq and fulfill his destiny as
a war president, even if it meant getting thousands of people
killed.

Hussein defense attorney F. Lee Chalabi said his client has
been a "nutjob" since 1988 when he accidentally
inhaled some mustard gas while wiping out some infidels. His
legal team estimates the American media has referred to Hussein
as the "wacky Iraqi" an estimated 2.4 million times.

"This
is all theater. The real criminal is Bush," a
defiant Hussein told the judge while swatting away imaginary
fruit flies and humming "U Can’t Touch This" by
M.C. Hammer.

"Hussein. Rhymes with ‘insane’. Can you dig it?"
concluded the wacky Iraqi madman.